Seeking Desideratum

I sit here,
my heart pounds inside my chest.
Voices swirl around like tornadoes within my mind,
well intended people comment.

My lips smile, like clockwork,
as if without thought.
The smile is forced,
if only to appease.

So long spent trying to please others,
to ask myself what I want seems rhetorical.
The question traversing in my mind is foreign,
though from me it demands an answer.

Absolutely confused,
altogether speechless.
I hesitate,
I'm unable to answer.

Voices so emphatic,
drowning out the sound of my own.
Intentions are blameless,
ideas are inaccurate.

Then a whisper,
a soft, gentle whisper.
Be still, admist the chaos.
I obey, I still myself.

To trust, if nothing else,
if no one else, I trust Him.
I discover exactly what I want,
He is all I need.

Recognition Of Worth

Every closed eye is not sleeping, every open eye is not seeing.

We live in a world where we look, but we don't truly see.

In a world where, from day one, we're taught to make sure we're looking out for ourselves, I've taught myself how to start looking out for people, followed swiftly by a decision to stop merely 'looking' at people, rather, my goal was to start 'seeing' people. To see people for who they are and to love them because of who they are.

A decision was made when I realised I had been seen. To this day I continue to be seen and not only am I seen but I am loved, a love and attention that I am most undeserving of.

It can be a costly decision at times but if I can spend my life trying to see people then my life is worth more having tried than to not try at all.

Consider that it is not what you look at that's important, it's what you see that matters.